Welcome back to marriage tips for the wife. Yes, you can make a difference in your marriage! Your husband might not even want to try and make a go of it. That’s okay. You are not alone, if you have Jesus!
LAST TIP: BELIEVE GOD!
If you have heard and believe the gospel (1 John 4.15, 1 John 5.1-5, Mathew 10.32 Romans 10.9) where Jesus, the Son of God, came to live perfectly on earth, Who was innocent, yet convicted as a sinner, and nailed to a cross, taking the penalty of death for sin on our behalf. If you understand that we are all sinners, yet it was prophesied by Isaiah years before His death and resurrection, that He, the Messiah, would be a ransom for our sins, and yet He rose from the grave, alive, conquering death, as our Father God chose Him to be, the saviour of the world. As we repent of our sin and believe this gospel, so we are saved, and born into the family of God. It’s not a birth that announces itself with lightning or thunder. There is no payment required, or sacrifice of anything needed. There is no work, good or bad, you could possibly do to earn this salvation, and no words are even necessary at this point. All that you need is to BELIEVE in Jesus as MESSIAH, the one TRUE Son of God, Who is God. Then an amazing thing happens in your heart, and you just can’t keep quiet about it…
You see if I did not believe in Jesus as being the Son of God, or if I did not believe He did die in my place for my sins, if I did not know with all my heart that my God is all powerful, all knowing, all present and fully able to resurrect my marriage from the dead, as He raised Jesus from dead to life, then right now I would be divorced, very bitter and extremely unhappy!
To each person a measure of faith is given (Romans 12.3), and without faith it is impossible to please God (Hebrews 11.6). Believe God at His Word. Stick to His Word, which contain His promises, and believe HE WILL DO IT. You do your part, God always does His. (if I can put it that way)
The Bible clearly gives us Gods heart for marriage.(Mark 10.1-12) Jesus Himself said: The two become one. This was God’s idea from the very beginning. When discussing divorce, Jesus made it clear it was not Gods heart, but mans hardness of heart that pursued divorce. Hardness of heart is lack of forgiveness and a build up of resentment and bitterness leading to no love. These things build nothing but a wall between you and your spouse. Let your opinions, ideas, wrong beliefs and the need to be right, go. Forgive and love unconditionally, as God loves you.
Don’t listen to those people who give unbiblical advice, even under the influence of so called love. No matter how well meaning they may be, any advice that goes against the Bible is from the devil. If your mother says get divorced because she doesn’t want to see you get hurt, that advice is not biblical. God loves you more than your mother, HE WILL MAKE A WAY WHERE THERE SEEMS TO BE NO WAY.
When you pray for your marriage to succeed, you know God wants this too, and you are praying according to His will. (1 John 5.14) When you put action (loving and forgiving your husband for the glory of God) with your faith, you are fulfilling scripture where James 2.14-26 says faith must be accompanied by works!
My wonderful sister in Christ, how my heart pains for your hurting heart, and I know how desperately you want to escape the pain of an unhappy marriage, but I assure you, as you lean and rely and fully trust on God, He will rescue you. No matter what you see now, if you trust in God, you will have the best marriage ever! (2 Corinthians 5.7)
Trust in God not in man. Psalm 118.8 Jeremiah 17.7-8 Proverbs 3.5-6
Note: if you are being physically abused by your spouse, a time of separation, may be necessary, but with the full intention of it only being for a time, and with your full heart still working on your relationship with God and your spouse! God is bigger than abuse, and He is still able. Never give up!!! CHRISTIAN counselors can be helpful (whether professional or church leaders) even if only you go. Please ask your church, or another church in your area, if you feel you will be judged, to give you their preferences for a Christian counselor. I personally know of someone who was given completely wrong advice by a psychologist , and to the determent of the marriage. Again I stress, anything that goes against the WORD, is just wrong. Allow the Holy Spirit to guide you.
I have not mentioned staying married for the children. Obviously this is a good motivation, and it’s a good starting point when you are at rock bottom. Not every marriage has children and we need to cross over from doing it for the kids to doing it for God. When we aim to please God and our heart is to please Him, He blesses our marriage and our children will receive the overflow blessing that comes from a happy marriage as well! I do not think a marriage will be HAPPY, if the only reason you are staying together is for the kids. TRUST GOD FOR A HAPPY FOREVER MARRIAGE!! Let’s leave a legacy of a loving, godly marriage for our children to follow.
Please
Keep on keeping on,
Tania
escape everyday life to live with purpose 